Sunday, May 3, 2015


I think most of my readers know I have a step son.  Friday night he had his first High School Athletics Banquet.  We of course were glad to make the 2 hour drive to go support him and the Athletic department at his school!  Before hand we met at Shayne's house to take photos.  His mom set up this photo with Shayne and his parents.  

Today she posted the picture on Facebook and stated…
"I'd like to say something about this photo...It is a TRUE Testament to what life with divorced parents can truly be and SHOULD be. I am so THANKFUL that Dan and I can stand in the same photo and share the same table at an event where Shayne is involved. The thing is it's not about Dan and's about Shayne. The fact that I truly like his wife and enjoy visiting with her is a BONUS!!!"

She really hit the nail on the head.  People ask me often how I get along with "Dan's ex" and I am always honest and say just fine because we put Shayne first!!! If we didn't get along Shayne would be the one who would suffer.

Being a step parent is a HUGE BLESSING to me!!!  I once had a close friend tell me that she heard a speaker on a Christian radio station say that you should not use the term “step”.  Like in step mom, step parent, step son, etc. It supposedly singles them out and divides them from the rest of the family.   I thought about it for a while and I can see the point.  By no means do I ever want him to feel like he is an extra part to the family.  We want him to just feel like he is part of the family.   BUT I also respect his mom enough I never want to step on her toes as “mom”.  She is a great mom and I am a great step mom.  The same goes for his dad and step dad.  We each have a role as parents.  We don’t really focus on who is what. We NEVER keep score on who does what. We just make it happen for Shayne.  If we ever started to keep score on who visits more, drives farther, pays more, gets more time, holidays, weekends, events, etc we would go crazy, become bitter, and Shayne would suffer.  None if that matters. What matters is that Shayne knows he has a family (although it may not be traditional) that is there for him to love, support, teach, punish, and provide for him. 

On another note check out this ring he got Friday night.  His wrestling team is State Champs!!!!! 

1 comment:

  1. This is great! I come from a broken home, and honestly, most of the times when my parents were together, there was almost always police involved. My mom's parents are also divorced, but certainly put the kids first in their relationship. In fact, they lived next door to one another, both remarried, just so it was easier on the kids. I also have step-parents and I sure wish I would have had a step-mother like you. My step-mother had a daughter 5 years older than me, and always had and still does, make it clear that she already has a daughter and has no interest in having another one. You are an AMAZING step-mother, and Shayne is a better person because of what you do for him everyday. Thank you for sharing!